A Synthesis of Hyacinths and Biscuits

Don't Trust Fate, But I Hate Suprises

[sticky post]Dear Yuletide Author
Dear Yuletide author:
Hi! Welcome! I'm sorry that this is terribly late!

My name is Starling, and I love fanfic. I love weird tropes, I love banter and dialogue, I love people being kind to each other, I love PEOPLE HAVING FEELINGS. I'm totally happy with romance, and just as happy for everything to be gen. I am not a big fan of dubcon or overwhelming angst.

My fandoms:

"'39" by Queen

(aka the best song about the effects of the theory of relativity on personal relationships ever)

I... don't even care what you write. Just, THIS SONG, it's amazing and heartbreaking and the sacrifice of one's family in pursuit of higher goals, just GUH.

Spartacus TV series

While I love me some Nagron, I would really love to see a fic starring Mira, who was supremely badass and died way too soon. I'd love an AU with a side of femmeslash. Any AU. They could all run a funeral home together, or be a bunch of punks living in New York in the 90's, or Jaeger pilots, or whatever. Just please showcase Mira being tougher than nails, and if she's BFFS with Nasir, so much the better.

The Tomorrow Series by John Marsden

I love the characters in this series. They're all sort of terribly screwed up by the war and their own actions in it. I'd really like a character study of any of the main crew, just a "day in the life" kinda thing. I'm partial to Homer and Gavin, but anything would be welcome.

Alternatively... space!AU? Would be amazing, just saying.

Bloom County comic by Berkley Breathed

Bloom County is up there with Calvin and Hobbes in my pantheon of favorite comics. I love the pathos, the anxiety, the topical humor, and the weirdness. I love the special brand of insanity that Breathed put out into the world. I'd love to see a fic that's interspersed with articles from the Bloom County Picayune. Other than that, go wild.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard

When my drama teacher in high school mentioned that Ros and Guil could be lovers, IT BLEW MY MIND. It was basically my introduction to slash and reading characters as queer.

I'd love a fic that plays with the characters' lack of context or history and how that might affect their attraction for each other. I'd love some great back and forth, some philosophical and existential musing, a side order of angst, and maybe a game of questions.


new sticky post: now with fabulous queers and stupid cats

You have reached the journal of starlingthefool. I write stuff: mostly fanfic these days, but also crap poetry and less-crap original fiction, which does not involve two characters from someone else's canon fucking. (Or singing karaoke to each other, or fighting zombie hordes, or talking about French poetry and tattoos; or anything that passes for romance in my brain.)
If you are looking for fic, all my recent stuff is posted up at AO3, all my earlier stuff (pre 2009) is on my fic index. The fic index also has links to all the original writing I've posted on this journal., which is 99% f-locked.
Friending policy, or rather, my lack thereofCollapse )
Things you should know about me.Collapse )

Dear Yuletide Writer, 2014
Yeek, this is overdue. Sorry, lovely writer!

Fandom 1: The Breakfast Club
I have a longstanding crush on Allison. She's an artist, she's a weirdo, she's got a loner, and she has a complicated relationship with every other character and her own family.

I would love to see her and Claire's relationship develop over the years, either as a platonic friendship or a slow-burn romance. Bonus scenes with Bender are always appreciated. I'm not averse to a triad pairing either. Mostly, I just want Allison, continuing to be a weirdo.

Fandom 2: Chester 500 XYV
I... honestly just want sex during a meal. Breakfast, elevensies, afternoon tea, outdoor luncheon, dinner, supper, dessert, whatever. Lots of sex, copious food descriptions. Any and all characters welcome.

Fandom 3: Gravity Falls
OH MY GOD, JUST ANYTHING. ANYTHING AT ALL. I am extremely partial to Wendy and Mabel, though a day in the life of Grunkle Stan would probably be hilarious as well.

Fandom 4: The Tomorrow Series by John Marsden
All I want is a space AU. I'm very partial to the Homer and Gavin and Ellie relationship, but otherwise, PLEASE. Just put them on spaceships and have them fighting aliens.

Fandom 5: The Golden Girls
Snark and cheesecake. Beastiality jokes. Friendship. Anything would make me happy.

Dear Yuletide Author
Dear Yuletide Author:

Hi! This is my first time participating in Yuletide! I am super excited!

This year, I'm asking for the following fandoms, which all occupy special little places in my heart.

Read more...Collapse )


Time for the monthly post!
It is my absolutely favorite kind of weather outside: cool, gray, windy, likely to rain. I'm sitting on my couch, wearing a tank top and boxers, shivering every time a breeze comes in through the open windows. IT IS GLORIOUS.

I am so happy summer is done. I think I've been suffering some kind of stupid reverse of my seasonal depression. I'm a little unhappy with my job -- working directly under the owners of a small business, I've decided, is never going to be fun. This is just a fact of life.

I mean. One of them is a self-proclaimed communist, and I have to work on labor day. It boggles the mind.

Anyway, things have been happening. I went to Worldcon! Only for one day, but it was amazing, and has made me want to go to alllll the cons. Or at least all the more literary-focused ones. I got to see Seanan McGuire and Catherynne Valente read, and those are a couple of fabulous people. I went to some great panels as well, including one on the future of food, which got promptly hijacked by 1.) people answering their cell phones DURING THE PANEL, and 2.) a douchey hippie who kept rage-baiting the panelists. Rude people everywhere, holy crap.


I'm having my first short story published next week in next week. It's a fabulous site that [profile] creature57 turned me on to. They deliver free short SFF fiction to your inbox every weekday. It's free to subscribe, and I've read some seriously amazing stuff on there. They email stories to their subscribers a week before putting them on the public site, so I'll probably flail at you all twice (or more) in the coming weeks.

I'm... also a little worried. Because the story has a genderqueer character, and it's about being GQ, and I come out as being GQ in the author's notes. My grandmother just sent me a big ole I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, I'M SUBSCRIBING NOW message, which is nice. But also, oh wow, coming out to my grandma, who is kind of dismissive of things that are out of her experience. I'm also nervous because, hey, there are all kinds of assholes in the world, and this is my real name, with my twitter and tumblr attached to it, and it's kind of an invitation for the Gender Defenders (tm) to troll me.

Not really worth worrying about it right now, but it's there, gnawing away in the back of my brain. God, I hate social media sometimes. Nothing brings out my hermit tendencies more than mean strangers on the internet with no face to spit at.

I'm going to go back to writing a ridiculous Teen Wolf bakery AU. I need a break.

The Dark Knight Rises, or: This Is What Liberalism Gets You, Hippies
Here is my two-line, spoiler-free synopsis of The Dark Knight Rises:

The 1%'s nightmarish vision of what would have happened if the Occupy Wall Street movement had succeeded. Big Daddy Batman must save them all.

My slightly more-in depth synopsis, containing spoilers:Collapse )

Basically, this story has the most horrifying politics I've seen in a long time. The story isn't quite good enough to cover that up. And Alfred is criminally underused. He really should get his own movie.

Also, at one point, Batman was shouting something at Bane, and it was two people screaming inarticulately at each other, and I totally lost it. Couldn't stop giggling for five minutes.

So apparently, it's been a couple months since I updated this thing. I don't have any excuse besides being crazy busy. I forgot how much working full time sucks all the time out of my life, and then I like to take on extra things, like writing 3000 words about Chicago's political history, which...

Just, you guys. Slow motion car crash doesn't even cover it. It is such a fascinating history of blatant corruption, well-meaning fuck-ups, reliable gangsters, and a bureaucracy of magical thinking. Basically, Chicago is that kid your family always warned you away from, but is kind of hot anyway, so you sleep with them, and then you wake up with an empty bed, an emptier wallet, and syphilis. Then you go all Ophelia or Lady Macbeth, depending on your mood.

It's fascinating. And horribly depressing. And makes me wonder.

There's that. There's the novel thing I'm trying to write, not the gay superhero one, which is stalled out and needing a huge rewrite. There's the short story I'm trying to edit into a state fit for submission. There's the Avengers band AU that [profile] creature57 incepted me into writing. And there's my job.

Interesting thing about my job: I realized in the last couple days that this is the most consistently challenging job I've ever had. Working 40 hours is rough, there's no downtime while on the clock, and there's a ridiculous amount of detail-oriented stuff. My last few jobs have all had periods (or entire work days) that I could do with my mind entirely elsewhere. It's exhausting, having to actually concentrate on what I'm doing.

This is not your average bookstore job. This realization was brought on by a chat I had with my boss, who praised the fact that I was friendly, knew shit about books, and smart. But I've been really absent-minded while there, because I've been stressed by it, and fucking up makes me more stressed out.

Solution: chill the eff out while at work. Take more breaks. Do things slower. Worry less.

Le sigh. I wish I had fanfic to share. Instead, I'm a hot and sweaty mess, and I have nothing of interest to report. It's hot in Chicago, there was a square dance on a nearby farm, which had a lot of city punks who didn't know their do-si-dos from their allemandes, but made up for it with cheap beer and enthusiasm. I also saw my first opened fire hydrant tonight, so it's officially summer.

A Truly Epic Dream
Kristin Wiig was some kind of Old West widow, whose mine was under attack from greedy townsmen, who wanted to own its silver or whatever.

The new sheriff, whose spirit animal was some kind of deadly red snake, could talk to the wind when it blew out of the southwest. He killed the bad guys, saved her, even though they totally didn't like each other at first.

There were a lot of Kill Bill moments. Including a fight above a lake with a lot of flying kicks.

Kristin Wiig and the sheriff, who was played by an alternating cast of Adam Sandler, Nathan Fillion, Robert Downey Jr., and a bookstore owner I know, fell in love and became outlaws together.

There was a really awkward pegging scene that involved a giant orange dildo, and RDJ calling out instructions like they were dance steps.

Then Agron wandered over, and apparently he was the sheriff's BFF, and they had decided to lead some kind of popular uprising. He was all, "God, you guys are fucking again?"

The sheriff introduced him as his best friend. Agron was all, "I'm glad someone remembered me."

MEANWHILE this was all being narrated by some random dude in a bookstore, who was choosing plot points by looking at different book covers. Included the phrase "There were forces building against them, including these guys, who shot the shit out of North America." Then he held up a book with some men on the cover, who did indeed look like they had totally shot the shit out of North America.

I woke up endlessly amused and needed to share.

Merlin fic: Fundamental Imperfection
I am having one of those boringly busy months. There have been a few bright spots -- like [profile] gollumgollum's visit, in which I was either drunk or hungover or in a food coma 75% of the time, and watching more SPARTACUS with an online crew of awesome people. Other than that, I've been working, writing, and doing silly things like signing up for martial arts classes. Woo.

Have some fic.

Title: Fundamental Imperfection
Fandom: Merlin
Wordcount: 12,176 (I KNOW)
Summary: It's an AU! Where they're both moderately famous writers! And they have a lot of literary arguments and feelings!

"Tell us a love story, and give it a happy ending."

(no subject)
Today, I woke up in a bad mood.

Seriously: I woke up, saw that it was still another half and hour before my alarm was set to go off, and thought This is already bullshit.

I expected the rest of the day to follow accordingly, (i.e. try to push me to homicide before nightfall) and to some extent it did. The kitchen was (is) too messy to deal with, Spartacus: Vengeance wouldn't load on my laptop, my bus was late. But people kept being weirdly cool to me all day. I had funny and nice customers at the store, my boss was awesome, the lady that served me my sandwich at Potbelly's joked around with me.

It was like the universe was trying to remind me that things weren't all bad, which just kind of made me crankier. Sometimes, I just want to wallow in my misery, okay? Stop bringing me adorable children that are really excited about Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Anyway. This feels weirdly like a post that should go on Tumblr.


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